“If you don’t change direction, you might just end up where you are going” - Lao Tzu
These famous words from the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu echoed through me when I first read them. It was almost like someone shook me from the inside, I was buzzing. At this point in time i was at the lowest point in my life, i was careless, empty and riddled with self defeating habits that i had formed over time due to repeated poor behaviour. I was so blinded by these habits that my self awareness was diminished and the ability to identify change was blurred and distorted, so I remained the same. It was during a solo intervention with myself that i asked a question - How can i change my current circumstances and break the cycle? I thought long and hard, not in the traditional brainstorming way, but in the way of elimination.
Sometimes I feel like making the best decision comes down to eliminating others. I removed all other options until i had one left, one that i could put into three words and carry it everywhere with me, regardless of my environment or external events, it came down to this - “make better decisions”. Simple, I know, but that is literally all that I needed to do. I realised that all of the circumstances that led me to where I was, boiled down to repeated poor decisions that snowballed into self-defeating habits.
Particularly, my poor decisions were exacerbated when drinking alcohol. I had to change my relationship with alcohol and the association with certain behaviour whilst drinking. This simple quote triggered an avalanche of internal reflection inside me and initiated questions to myself such as; Where are you going if you keep this up? How did you end up here? Why do you feel this way? How can I create a new pathway for myself? What does my future look like if I remain the same as I am today?
Inertia, (in-ersha) is the act or tendency of doing nothing - to remain unchanged. Inertia means an object (in this example let’s use ourselves) will continue its current motion until some force causes its speed or direction to change. The term inertia is properly understood as shorthand for "the principle of inertia" as described by Newton in his first law of motion. Psychological inertia refers to the degree of which a person's emotional state is reluctant to change. Inertia can ultimately be a driving force to generate change if you are self aware enough. Ask yourself this - if i don’t change direction in my life, where is it going?
A lack of self awareness and psychological motive to change, rather than weighing up the pros and cons of remaining the same can spiral into repeated faulty cognitive behaviours such as having “cause and effect” related thoughts; for example “I am like this, because this (event) happened to me”. Only focussing on the “cause” is denial to “what is” and can lead to negative automatic thoughts or rumination. Rumination is the process of repeated thoughts that are generally negative, debilitating and based around assumptions and not facts. People will go through their whole life with the out of control ego that they are always right, tarnishing relationships and burning bridges everywhere they go purely based on their refusal to change who they are - to remain the same.
It is scientific consensus that everything in the known universe is in motion, nothing rests, everything moves, everything is changing. So why do we resist change? We resist change because it interferes with our autonomy and identity. We are so sure of who we are that any potential change to our lives disrupts the feeling of control that we have and forces us into unknown territory.
This is where growth lies, in the uncomfortable unknown. The ability to adapt to adversity and change is a measurement of intelligence. Sure it's uncomfortable at first, but the sooner we learn to accept, embrace and seek change the easier it becomes to break the shackles of complacency and stagnation and thrive.
“The most successful people see adversity not as a stumbling block, but a stepping stone to greatness” - Shawn Anchor
It is crippling to remain unchanged. Personally, I cannot bear the thought of getting through life without experiencing as much as I could, by pushing physical, mental and spiritual boundaries and teetering on the edge of calculated risk and reward to maximise my experience on earth. What is it going to require to knock you off the course you are currently on and onto the path of fulfillment and purpose? Generally speaking it takes a tragic life event or an unfavorable circumstance for people to take action. Why wait for that? Wouldn’t you rather take action on your own terms and from a clear mind.
For many people, the thought alone of their future gives them anxiety, but the reality is that time is going to pass anyway whether you consider how you spend it or not and ignoring the hard truths about yourself will only lead to regret and resentment later in life. In saying all of this, my message in this blog is this;
Seek change
Never stop progressing - even baby steps are better than nothing
Identify and accept your strengths and flaws to work on them
Ask more from yourself every single day
Get a clear understanding on your direction
In my own mind I am still at the beginning of my journey in regards to where I want to be, but getting to where I am now has required me to act, let go of perfectionism and ask myself a lot of hard, raw and confronting questions. Who else is going to do that, right? It may take a monumental amount of energy, persistence, discipline and courage to change the direction you are currently going, but it’s better than rock bottom. Sometimes in life you get to choose the pain you suffer from. The pain of discipline, commitment, sacrifice and consistency or the pain of regret, losing time, unfulfilled potential and unhappiness. Choose wisely!
Steno
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